A Glimpse of a Rainbow

Mom confession: I do not have my sh*t together. Some mornings I am lucky that my clothes are on correctly and the twins do not have food on their faces from the previous night. These last few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster. There have been multiple days that it takes every ounce of energy to not lose it.  I'm usually the one trying to keep the positive vibe, keeping my head up and usually preach that things will get better in time. Whether it's my hormonal imbalance, being a teacher and mom of kiddos with special needs, or just a combo of all of the above, I have definitely reached my maximum. But today, there was a rainbow in my grey skies. The twins had their annual speech IEP with the most awesome speech/child whisperer/get shit done therapist and their teacher/friend/life advisor to discuss their speech problems, the occupational therapy that has begun and any behavior/academic changes and progress that they had. I promised myself and their teacher I wouldn't cry during the meeting...I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. And when it comes to my boys, this momma bear wants to move mountains for them. But, there were a few tears and a lot more smiles! They have both made such amazing academic growth!  They are not only meeting second grade standards, they are doing better than I could ever imagine! Even their speech is improving and within the next year, Willy may not need the speech support! It is moments like these that make me feel, even though our day to day (some days hour to hour) is a struggle and am constantly questioning if I am doing enough for them, that everything we are doing, their teacher and therapists are doing, is helping them succeed. It is a journey, which is far from over. It is through these struggles that I have learned so much more about children and the variety of sensory needs. It has given me compassion for parents and has changed my heart as a teacher. For it is through my struggles as a mother that I have gained strength in my profession and parenting.

 Today, I saw a glimpse of a beautiful rainbow. Though this is just the beginning, and we are just scratching the surface...it is these moments that I need to hold on to through the rain, in order to find the gold that is within them and myself.