3rd grade...here we come!

It's been a busy and life changing 8 months since my last post. In between being a full time teacher and mom of 4, I experienced one of the hardest things so far in my life. My mom passed away from lung cancer in May. Watching her go through the final stages of life, as well as experienceing a huge loss,  really had me question what was important in my life. Through my struggles and tears, I've gained strength and a renewed sense of trying to find the positives in life, and let go of the stresses and negatives that life can bring.  So, some positive things that have emerged for the twins is that they ended their 2nd grade school year at grade level and I couldn't have asked for a better 2nd grade year!

That brings us to the new school year. The closer we get to the first day of school (for all 3 of us) up creeps my anxieties of the new year. Will their teacher see past their challenges? Will she see through the behavior and know how much they are capable of? Luckily, I work at their school and was able to find an educator who is similar to my teaching style. She has already reached out to me to ask about what sensory processing is, the tools, therapies and tricks we use to help support their learning and behaviors and how they work together in the same classroom. I have also come across people questioning why I keep them in the same classroom with each other. There are multiple reasons as to why I want them together and, at the end of the day, I felt it was best to continue to keep them in the same class. Hopefully, it continues to be a good decision in hopes of  keeping some calmness in our crazy, busy life.

Austin developed a verbal tic (also known as Turrettes) at the end of first grade. I was able to find an essential oil blend that helped him, up until these last few weeks. I am not sure if the anxiety of a new classroom, new grade, new teacher and not being next to my classroom is what has caused an increase in his anxiety levels. All I know is that I feel helpless when I can't help my child. My own anxieties of starting the busyness of our life are also increasing. I am just hoping that I can continue having a positive mindset that I have gained through my last few months of  self reflection of life and the importance of enjoying these moments that I have with my children. I hope the new school year brings not only academic success for my boys, but more independence, less drama and meltdowns, and more positive memories for all of us. So, grab the essential oils and stress balls...here's to another school year!

Twin Update

'Tis the season for good tidings and joy...I wanted to update my blog about ours! The twins had their academic testing last month to see if there was any other learning disorders, retention issues and/or academic autism (autistic behavioral testing has to be done by their pediatrician). I was apprehensive about the results but was ready to face whatever came about. They had tests and observations from two psychologists for over two weeks. They were getting pulled out of class, and causing them to be frustrated as it disrupted their daily schedule. We were all glad when it was complete! The testing came back that they are both right where they need to be! There are some areas of concern, but not too drastically below grade level or age appropriateness. It was such a relief to know that they are on the right path and the things we have set in place to help them with their sensory needs are working! There were happy tears shed that day and a sense of relief washed over me. My biggest fear is the older they get, will they have such patient teachers as they do now? We made sure we put in place their supports they have now for their future teachers. I can only hope that when the time comes, we are able to find the right teacher who is open to the different learning styles of children and will work with them closely.  As for the autism testing, I discussed it with their pediatrician and both my husband and I agree that since they are currently receiving all of the support they need at school (speech therapy, occupational therapy, small group/intervention in the classroom, sensory tools) further testing for autisim would just put them through more tests and give them a label. After considering it, my boys are my boys. A label doesn't change who they are. I know my boys react to things differently than most children. They need more breaks, more tools to help them both academically and behaviorally. A label doesn't change any of it.  Although labels may be a necessary evil when getting appropriate educational accommodations, I don't find them helpful. All children with the same diagnosis do not have the exact same needs and the label can cause others to view them differently. I believe that all children are wired differently and can flourish when their needs are met. My boys are quirky, and I love that about them. The same wiring that gave them SPD also gave them an inquisitive mind, a never ending imagination, and a deep love for animals and humankind that I wish I could bottle up and share! The one thing I learned through this is that SPD is definitely a journey, a process that ebbs and flows like the river. One dayhour , everything is going smoothly, the next it's like trying to tame wild beasts. For today, my boys are doing well academically, they are social creatures who are unique and keep us on our toes! This Christmas I couldn't ask for anything more.

A Glimpse of a Rainbow

Mom confession: I do not have my sh*t together. Some mornings I am lucky that my clothes are on correctly and the twins do not have food on their faces from the previous night. These last few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster. There have been multiple days that it takes every ounce of energy to not lose it.  I'm usually the one trying to keep the positive vibe, keeping my head up and usually preach that things will get better in time. Whether it's my hormonal imbalance, being a teacher and mom of kiddos with special needs, or just a combo of all of the above, I have definitely reached my maximum. But today, there was a rainbow in my grey skies. The twins had their annual speech IEP with the most awesome speech/child whisperer/get shit done therapist and their teacher/friend/life advisor to discuss their speech problems, the occupational therapy that has begun and any behavior/academic changes and progress that they had. I promised myself and their teacher I wouldn't cry during the meeting...I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. And when it comes to my boys, this momma bear wants to move mountains for them. But, there were a few tears and a lot more smiles! They have both made such amazing academic growth!  They are not only meeting second grade standards, they are doing better than I could ever imagine! Even their speech is improving and within the next year, Willy may not need the speech support! It is moments like these that make me feel, even though our day to day (some days hour to hour) is a struggle and am constantly questioning if I am doing enough for them, that everything we are doing, their teacher and therapists are doing, is helping them succeed. It is a journey, which is far from over. It is through these struggles that I have learned so much more about children and the variety of sensory needs. It has given me compassion for parents and has changed my heart as a teacher. For it is through my struggles as a mother that I have gained strength in my profession and parenting.

 Today, I saw a glimpse of a beautiful rainbow. Though this is just the beginning, and we are just scratching the surface...it is these moments that I need to hold on to through the rain, in order to find the gold that is within them and myself.

Finally...Confirmation!

Phew! It's been a busy month since my last post! The twins have been working hard in second grade, and so have I! We finally had their Occupational Therapist meeting and it went really well! After our discussion, she helped me realize that they not only have SPD but they are completely opposite in their disorder. Austin is a sensory seeker, which I knew, but William is a sensory avoider. It all makes complete sense (no pun intended)! No wonder they annoy each other so much and it feels like some days are successful and some days I feel like I take a step backwards. Here is some background information on what these two types really are. 

Sensory Seekers

Avoiders tend to get labeled as 'fussy,' 'sensitive,' 'picky,' or 'spoiled;' Seekers are often considered 'behavior problems,' 'hyperactive,' 'difficult,' 'stubborn,' 'coddled.' Many of us parents have been blamed, or told our kids need more discipline. From having 2 boys without out SPD and two with it, there is a difference . They are also commonly missed diagnosed as ADHD, when in actuality they just need to burn off their energy in a positive way. Here are some things that you might see a sensory seeker doing:

• Spinning

• Climbing too high

• Climbing everything

• Crashing into things (people, furniture, walls)

• Mouthing/licking inedible things (furniture, toys, body)

• Chewing inedible things (clothing)

• Eating excessively 

• Constantly wrestling with siblings

• Touching everything

• Playing with food

• Eating messily

• Overstuffing their mouth

• Eating spicy/hot foods

• Under-responding to pain (‘shakes it off’ quickly)

• Dumping out toy bins just to look at everything

• Engaging in excessive sensory play (mud, water, soap, etc.)

• Jumping

• Pushing

• Running barefoot

• Chewing on their toothbrush

• Not sitting still at their desk

• Falling out of their chair for no apparent reason

• Seeking loud noises (turns up TV, battery toys against ears, vacuum.)

• Failing to monitor their own volume (you constantly say, “Stop yelling!”)

• Smelling everything, even bad smells

This is not a comprehensive list, but it is a starting point.

Sensory Avoiders 

Sensory Avoiders are probably what comes to mind when people think of a child with sensory issues: The child with his hands over his ears. But, there is more to it than that.  These are children can have sensory challenges with even the basics in life: eating, dressing, bathing.   The sensations from day-to-day living can interrupt an Avoider child's functioning, and make it nearly impossible for them to learn or socialize appropriately.  Here are some things you might see an Avoider doing:

• Picky eater (prefers one texture or basic flavors)

• Covers ears at noise (hates vacuum, blender, hand dryers)

• Avoids touch (not a ‘huggy’ or ‘cuddly’ kid)

• Hates tags/seams in clothing

• Won’t wear shoes (or prefers only one shoe type)

• Avoids messy activities (mud, sand)

• Avoids art activities like painting or playdoh

• Walks on toes

• Doesn’t engage in playground activities (climbing, swinging, etc)

• Hates a wet/dirty diaper/underwear

• Dislikes having people too close

• Refuses to take a bath/shower or play in the sprinkler

• Hates water on their face

• Hates/Refuse to brush their teeth

• Complains about smells

• Complain that normal light is too bright (wantings to wear sunglasses)

• Over-responsive to pain (everything hurts!)

• Avoids/refuses stickers/fake tattoos

Although most kids tend to fall primarily on one side or the other, many kids have experiences in both avoiding and seeking. And there are more examples of both Avoider and Seeker behaviors on the Red Flags for SPD checklist (http://www.spdfoundation.net/redflags.html). If your child is not diagnosed with SPD, but has many of these behaviors, please seek an occupational therapist.  

Sensory issues are on a continuum: Some kids avoid nearly all sensory stimuli, and some kids seek excessive amounts of sensory stimuli. And many kids do a combination of both, depending on where their ‘arousal’ level -- is like a constant balancing act to get the input just right. I am excited that they will both be receiving services, in class support as well as being pulled out to work one on one with an OT in the areas they individually need. I also feel good knowing the sensory diet I've started with them is a good a good starting point.  Now,  I can focus in on each area and provide just the right type of sensory needs for each.  I know this  is just the beginning, but at least I have guidance and  confirmation  of my research in helping my twins. 

Growing Up

Ever have a moment when your children are communicating nicely, problem solving, using words they never have used before and think "when did they grow up?" Today was that day! It was like they were completely different boys! Their teacher noticed they were both calm, more focused in class and participating more! We talked about how the only change has been that they got a new sweatshirt and she thought maybe it was a safe feeling they had wearing it. I remembered all the times they would wear sweatshirts and not want to take them off, no matter the weather. I remembered all the times they wear blankets and take one to my classroom every morning. Whatever it is, I am hoping we are finally finding the right combination of sensory stimuli. It's an amazing feeling to watch your boys interact and become the awesome kids you know they are!

Celebrating The Small Steps

     Hello blogger world! Just a nighttime post of celebrating a good day with minimal meltdowns!  I am still trying to find the right combo this school year to help alleviate the stressors that create multiple daily meltdowns they each have been having. On a side note, there is a difference between a tantrum and a sensory meltdown. For more understanding, check out Tantrums vs. Meltdowns . Today I added a Thera-band (an elastic yoga band I bought off eBay) to the twin's chair at school, where they can kick away to their hearts content! I also added it to 3 of my student's chairs and they loved them too! William actually used it more than Austin in class, which is funny as Austin has more issues with the vestibular system (for more info on more "active" children, click here The Inspred Tree House: Sensory Processing: The Vestibular System). They both completed their homework in the morning, which tends to help with not only focus but minimizes meltdowns due to after school overload and tiredness. I am fortunate to be right next to their classroom at school and can hunt them down at recesses and lunch to reapply essential oils and feed them snacks! Hunger seems to be the biggest stressor these last few weeks. I make sure they have plenty of snack options at school and at home as they are eating hourly lately. I am super proud of them because they have had a substitute for two days which creates a different and louder environment. Also, Austin fell at school (a common occurrence as he is more clumsy...again vestibular system is playing its part) and he was asking to go home after lunch. But they kept on strong! After school came with reminding them of the plans for the afternoon, which helped as well.  I also have a sensory basket I bought for them (and will use for my students who are also showing spectrum issues) which Willy chose to play with. They both keep their blankets and favorite stuffed animal that they sat with after school as well. I was able to work a whole 40 minutes in my classroom without any issues! That's one small step for twins, one giant leap for sensory mom!
    We came home with no arguing in the car and I was even able to get an hour run in by myself! I enjoy the alone time as I seldom get it!  They are both in soccer, of which their dad and older brother coach them twice a week (another awesome hour and a half of mom time!). Austin was having meltdowns before every practice these last two weeks, but I tried to be proactive today and fed them before hand, explained that they can still play when they get home and he did well! William, on the other hand, came home in full meltdown mode, but luckily pancakes and lots of orange juice calmed him down after a half hour. There was a brief crying spree at bedtime, but I know they are just exhausted from a busy day. Austin asked to sleep with Willy in his top bunk, and usually I decline, but sometimes you just need to be reassured your twin is right there.  I am thankful for the hours of non meltdowns we had today! It makes for a happier mom and a calmer home. Here's to another successful day in our sensory filled world!

Essential oils, Essential life

     In searching for some sort of sanity during the "twin meltdowns of 2016", I was desperate for any relief. Knowing my boys loved smelling things, I thought essential oils could help them. One of my closest friends sells essential oils and was trying to get me to try them for over a year. I texted her and asked if she knew of any oils that could help with sensory processing. She recommended lavender and was going to ask her essential oil consultant if she had ideas. Thankfully my friend delivered the lavender and gave me a diffuser to see if it would help. Needless to say, I commensed in lavendering them anytime I could. I lavendered their wrists, diffused it in the living room, used the diffuser in my classroom, lavendered the twins (and myself) at recess, and lavendered them when they slept. My students were a wild bunch and I began noticing similar sensory issues in multiple children. The lavender smell was a great calming tool and the diffuser lit up so all of the kids thought it was neat! During this time, Google became my research tool. I Googled essential oils for sensory processing and found a mom who created her own oil blend to help her son who has Autisim. Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is a part of the Austisim spectrum and I learned some great things from her blog.

WHY ESSENTIAL OILS?

There are many reasons why you might be considering using essential oils with your child, including:

• Looking for practical solutions to use on a daily basis and without a big time commitment 
• Interested in trying more natural and/or alternative treatments
• Prefer to use natural methods
• Want to avoid prescription medications
• Hoping to find something that will help your child sleep better
• Tired of other treatments not working or having little impact
• Hoping to find something that will help with your child's anxiety
• Finding a less expensive treatment to try
• An on the go tool that you can use anytime, anywhere 

WHICH ESSENTIAL OILS ARE GOOD FOR AUTISM/SPD?

                                                                                                                  

This list of essential oils for autism is not exhaustive and may be added to as I find new favorites. There are plenty of essential oils that may be beneficial to kids who have autism and sensory processing issues, but these are our absolute go-to oils! These essential oils are what I have found to be the most helpful and effective for the twins.

Vetiver - Of all the oils on this list, vetiver is my favorite and the most important. Vetiver has a sedative quality that can help sedate emotional outbursts such as anger, anxiety, and hysteria. It calms the nervous system and stabilizes emotions. I like to apply vetiver, diluted with a carrier oil, to the base of the neck and the base of the spine. 
 Cedarwood - This oil has a soothing and calming effect on the mind, helps with sleep, and helps to balance emotions.

Frankincense - An effective sedative, frankincense lowers anxiety, anger, and stress. It promotes deep breathing, relaxation, and a sense of peace and calm.
Lavender - Lavender is great for promoting sleep and for reducing anxiety and stress. A must have oil!
Mandarin Orange - Most kids enjoy the scent of citrus fruits. Mandarin orange balances emotions, provides stress relief, and calms the nervous system.
Common Sense Blend  Common sense is a blend from Young Living that I found researching SPD. It is stated that it enhances rational decision-making abilities leading to increased wellness, purpose and abundance.  Common Sense has a blend of these oils: frankincense, ylang ylang, ocotea, goldenrod, ruta, dorado azul, and lime. I just bought it and am excited to see its results! 

There are lots of other essential oils that may be good for autism/SPD/ADHD  including the following:
Ylang Ylang - This essential oil strengthens the nervous system, making it great for relieving stress, anger, and anxiety.
Bergamot - This essential oil relaxes nerves and muscles. It also reduces anxiety and stress. It would be a lovely oil for kids with autism.
For further information on any of these oils, you can read more at the Organic Facts Essential Oils database.

HOW TO USE ESSENTIAL OILS

Incorporating essential oils into your day can be super easy to do! You can:

• Add a few drops (lavender is wonderful for this!) to the bathtub (add some Epsom salt and coconut oil to do a detox bath once a week!)
• Diffuse the oils using an essential oil diffuser
• Incorporate them into sensory activities, such as: lavender scented beans, rainbow scent 
• matching game, lemon soap foam
• Make lotions/rubs by whipping up some coconut oil with your favorite essential oils
• Make calming sprays like our DIY calm and focused child or DIY bedtime blen
• Diffuse it in the car while traveling using an aromatherapy car diffuser
• Make a diffuser necklace or bracelet scented with your favorite essential oils for your child to wear

Essential oils have become a huge part of our daily routine in dealing with sensory issues, anxiety, and attention issues. After some reseesch from other sensory moms, I found a blend to help. She calls it the calm and focused child essential oil blend because it does exactly that. It calms sensory responses, balances their emotions, and keeps them calm and focused. 

A FEW SAFETY NOTES ABOUT USING ESSENTIAL OILS WITH KIDS

When we first started using essential oils about 6 months ago, we saw a huge impact in our daily lives. It has been a huge part of how we manage SPD (as well as illnesses, tummy aches, PMS and allergies). I want to mention important safety concerns. So here are just a couple of important reminders:

• I am not an aromatherapist. I am just sharing a blend of oils that has worked well for our family.
• This blend is meant to be diffused and/or mixed with a carrier oil before applying to skin. Never apply this blend to the skin without a carrier oil.
• If you haven't already educated yourself on the safe use of essential oils with children, then please read up on their safety first. I recommend these books: The Complete Book of Essential Oils & Aromatherapy and Aromatherapy for the Healthy Child

I should also note that this blend does wonders on both children, autism or not. So it is great for all kids.

HOW TO MAKE THE CALM & FOCUSED CHILD ESSENTIAL OIL BLEND

Here's what you'll need to make this essential oil blend:

• 1-2 drops of lavender
• 1-2 drops of mandarin orange
• 1 drop of frankincense
• 2 drops of texas cedarwood
• 1 drop of vetiver